if i was your boyfriend i would do so much cute stuff. i’d bring you soup when you were feeling sick, i’d rub your tummy when you got cramps, i’d wake you up in the middle of the night dressed as an eagle shouting abstract poetry at my own dick
when she says she doesn’t send nudes
when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes
when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia
When Russia sends you nudes
THIS IS HILARY FUCKING DUFF.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING QUEEN BUILT DISNEY CHANNEL AND DIDN’T HAVE A SAD, DISAPPOINTING DOWNSPIRAL.
SHE IS THE ONLY DISNEY STAR THAT GOT IT RIGHT AND NOW SHE’S A HAPPILY MARRIED MOTHER.
THAT’S HOW ITS DONE, BITCHES.
CAN I ALSO ADD THAT SHE BATTLED ANOREXIA AND BEAT IT ALL TO HELL
"THE ONLY DISNEY STAR THAT GOT IT RIGHT"????
I’m quite pleased with this.
Rapping this out loud in my empty classroom like swag.
WALK INTO THE CLUB LIKE WADDUP I AM A BIG SCOT
I’M SO PUMPED ABOUT SOME VISION THAT THE WITCHES GOT
I WILL BE THANE, SO SAYS THE PROPHECY
THAT PEOPLE LIKE “DAMN, MACBETH DESERVES GLORY”
can you imagine if someone sent you a list of all the reasons why they love you
well wouldn’t that be the shortest list in the world
Yeah it would because all they would write is
Do you even know how smooth that was